Without a doubt, the top area of emotional pain my clients face is with the behaviours of others and the repercussions they feel.
“The world should know the real them…”
“If only I could show them…”
“The way I’m being treated is appalling…”
“They get away with murder…”
“Nothing I do makes a difference…”
Trust me, I know this thinking pattern will only consume you, destroy your other relationships, weigh you down and take the wind out of your sail as the constant chatter inside your mind and need to have the last say directs your every activity, thought and very being.
We become conflicted between how things are, and how we want them to be.
But what happens when we try to avoid, promote or control the actions of others, is our personal emotional intensity increases, the internal chatter becomes louder, the physical responses become exaggerated: you’ve probably seen it yourself, those who love us then begin to see us as the one ‘with the problem’.
And the cycle of “it’s them, not me” amplifies.
Embrace acceptance, my friends.
Acceptance promotes and encourages you to experience the situations, rather than fighting or avoiding them: you’re encouraged to go without struggle, and with objectivity as your companion.
“We have a differing of opinion…”
“It is raining..”
“The traffic was busy…”
“I’m feeling this way…”
“I have a number of priorities…”
And please, don’t confuse acceptance as taking the higher moral ground, either: that is subjective to your values and beliefs which will only continue the struggle; and to be honest, possibly why acceptance is difficult to understand and adopt.
Acceptance requires a love for yourself and the bravery to say enough is enough: acceptance is about you, and a desire to act upon that determination and self-love. A desire to be well in your skin.
Acceptance allows your emotion and thoughts take their natural course, without engaging in them.
Feel angry. Feel sad. Feel lost. Feel confused. Feel the emotions present, but other than acknowledging the presence within you, let it flow like a stream into the mouth of the river, into the expansive ocean and deep sea.
Acceptance dissolves your emotional responses, in the same way laughter naturally dissipates. In doing so, the energy that was spent to reject, resist and complain can be spent on the choice of how you will respond and adapt to things differently.
Acceptance will quieten your mind; you may find this silence confronting at first, and those around you will continue to invite you to the dance of yesterday – this is normal and part of the transition to YOU being well in your own skin, and I promise you, this is the path to take.
Elle va bein dans sa peau
Penni is an experienced business manager, internationally recognised Lifestyle, Food and Wellness coach, Mindfulness coach, Mental health first aider and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner.
With creative program and session design, Penni brings health & wellbeing (awareness and behaviour change) to workplaces that encourage and support participants to change the way they think and participate in life; to experience today while looking forward to their future.
They are hands-on and experimental for adult learning, bringing a practical element to evidence-informed literature, resulting in reduced sick leave and wage costs, and a more supported, satisfied and productive teams of staff.
She is also the author oh How to Encourage Your Staff to Engage in Their Health & Wellbeing. You can grab your copy here.