How often do you hear yourself saying ‘you’re driving me crazy with that ra ra behaviour..’ or the babes holler at you that it’s your fault they are sad/angry/bored – or is that just my house?
Miss 7 told me yesterday that someone stole from her wellbeing bucket (a school term) ‘and they made me angry’ – from there we had quite the conversation about who is responsible for how you feel – I disagree that others can take how you feel, or choose to feel, away from you – movies, books, watching others in response to events, social media stories, they all portray various ways to respond to ‘bad’ behaviours, and we have picked them up and wear them like an invisible cloak.
You and only you are responsible for how you feel – my first-hand experience can tell you, it’s not an easy position to take, actually, initially – it is harder, requiring a bucket load of mental effort, deep breathing and desire for mental independence.
But, oh so much more rewarding when you do.
Miss 7 asked ‘what if someone hit you, can they make me sad then?’ While most likely they can physically hurt you, but if you want (with mental effort possibly beyond a 7 yr old), you can choose to respond react with concious choice.
Again, not easy, but not impossible either.
Think about the last time you blamed someone for how you felt, and rewind that event in your mind. Look over it carefully. Can you see the space between the trigger for your response – what they did or said, and your actual response? There is a space between the two, I promise you, and I encourage you to find it. Look for it in a number of previous memories so going forward you will be familiar with looking for the opportunity to respond and react in a manner you’d prefer.
The triggers, sad events, nasty words, rude people, they may all remain – what will change is you and your mindful response.
Penni Lamprey is an internationally recognised lifestyle, food and wellness coach, NLP Practitioner and experienced business manager; through her uniquely designed, holistic health and wellbeing programs, aims to inspire the health & wellbeing of Australian business, where absenteeism and presenteeism are replaced with supported, engaged and productive teams of staff.
She is also the author of ‘How to encourage your staff to engage in their Health & Wellbeing’